ATTENTION BOYS...

...or men, or whatever you are calling yourselves today.

I don't know what it is... perhaps it is because it is spring and you realize that there are a lot of twitterpated females and males roaming about. Regardless, it seems that there have been quite a few guys that I have run into that seem to find it necessary to remind me that they have placed me in the friend-zone and aren't planning on changing my status anytime in the near, foreseeable future. 

It's not necessary. 

I admit I pride myself on being quite straightforward especially in regards to my feelings towards men. If I like you or am interested in being more than just friends... I will let you know! 

When you bring up the fact that we are simply friends with the idea that you "don't want to hurt" me well, I have some news for you--it's incredibly frustrating and (surprise of all surprises) does the exact thing you were trying to avoid. Neither I or the next female need you constantly reminding us point-blank that for whatever reason you have decided that we would make better friends than something more serious. 

Why is this?

Because you aren't the only one that we have met that feels that way--and also feels that he needs to constantly remind us. 

Just be yourself. 

I, for one, generally assume that a guy thinks of me as a great friend only unless he does things like holding my hand or cuddling or asking me out on multiple dates over the phone where he goes the extra mile to make me feel special---this also includes seeing me multiple times a week even though it is completely out of your way.

So in summation: yes, I know we are just friends. No, I do not need you to constantly remind me. And no, I don't want you to stop treating me the same way you've always treated me---unless, of course, your feelings have changed and you realize that you don't actually want me in your friend-zone.

Any questions?

From Home

I had the opportunity to go home this past weekend and though I may have gotten a cold out of it, it was truly a relief to be able to get away from all the responsibility and stress of the adult life and everything that comes with growing up. I was able to go almost anywhere with my family without my phone or purse strapped to my side and in essence walked about just enjoying the scenery. It also reinforced the fact that I really do not like having a mere three days at home--I need at least a week or it is almost a physical pain when I have to leave my family and home in Oregon for Utah once more. (Then there is also the other end of that where I cannot spend much more than a week for the risk of being stir crazy by the end of the visit but I would rather be slightly loathe to part with the coast than be happy to leave.)

There wasn't a drop of rain to be seen while I was visiting and wouldn't you know it but it poured the same night I happened to be back in Utah (or rather, I was in Nevada when it started... I think). 

My great grandmother was feeling rather poorly. It is always a sobering thought when I wonder the last time I see her will be... if it was possibly that last quick visit or if there will be more in the future. I cannot be sure but it breaks my heart to see her falling apart. It haunts her to know that she can no longer sew the quilts and baby blankets that she has been sitting to for years even though there are more and more great grandbabies coming down the line---some that she may never even see in this lifetime. Anyone that looks at her can tell she's tired but we can never be certain how much more she has to endure or learn before she can return to her husband, Dean's, side. 

I guess it's time for bed.... I was bouncing off the walls not too long ago but I think I am finally crashing... thank goodness. 

They May Say I'm a Dreamer...

I don't always have epiphanies--but when I do the seem to come when I'm doing simple everyday tasks. Such as making my bed before crawling into it for bedtime. 

Over the last couple of weeks, there have been a lot of lessons, it seems, at church and Institute (seminary for young adults in the church that only occurs once a week) and even through BYU Devotionals that have addressed the subject of finding your eternal companion--what attributes you look for in them--and also being the right person for them (aka don't expect attitudes and habits from them that you don't expect of yourself). 

As I was making my bed, I was reflecting on the dating experiences I have been going through in the last year or so and I realized something. I need someone who will allow me to continue dreaming. Who will allow me to retain my childlike view on certain things and love of the simple pleasures of life (such as watching Disney movies over and over and rereading love stories). However... I also need someone who will allow me to do this without treating me like a child. In fact, he is more than welcome to join me in my love of Disney, etc.

I admit to being rather starry-eyed from time to time and will always love fairy tales (and fully intend to read such stories to my children, encouraging them to dream, create, imagine, and find joy in smaller things). 

So, men. If you intend to only humor me, or pander to my wishes as though I were a younger sibling, keep moving please. I would rather not waste your time nor do I wish for someone to come along and try to change me. I will not change to fit a more "mature" view. Not only am I a dreamer, I am a writer of dreams. If you want to be a part of that dream, well, I invite you to try. Perhaps you will succeed where others have failed before you... (dear me, I sound like a dragon spouting a challenge...)

Love is Not Nagging

(Quick side note: my parents got me a calendar with the Peanuts comic as its theme, and apparently the theme is all about LOVE... which is not a bad thing, especially with such reminders as what I used for the title of this blog and others that I may or may not mention in the blog posts that follow this one.)

Well, my birthday has occurred for the year of 2014 as of January 30th. Only a few people have asked how old I am since then and so it still feels a little strange to answer with the number 23 instead of the number 22 I just got used to replying with to the inquisitive mind.

So I am a year older and I am already liking this age that I have settled into better than the last one. It most likely has a lot to do with having a steady, well-paying job that doesn't require me to wake up to clean bathrooms at 4 AM. I cannot express how wonderful it feels to see the money in my bank account increase rather than peter out before the next paycheck comes to fan the flames briefly before it dies out again. It makes a person a whole lot more optimistic in regards to the larger expenses of life (aka continued education or perhaps a first car). 

Winter is almost behind us and I couldn't be more grateful for the change in the weather--or at least the temperature. It's supposed to be high 50's to mid 60's pretty much all week and it makes me wish that I didn't have work in the afternoon but who knows? Perhaps it will be able to entice me out of bed earlier instead of fighting the cold by snuggling in more deeply under my copious amount of blankets. 

I am pretty sure we were all aware of the daylight savings and the whole "springing forward" an hour and though it is throwing my mornings off a little, it is rather nice to know that the sun will start setting later and later so that when I get off of work (at least Monday through Thursday) I will have a bit of light to socialize the evening away in.

Crazy moment in my life right now, however, is the realization that my youngest sister turned 16 years old today! My little brother will be turning 18 in a few short months and my younger sister is in Canada sharing the Gospel. Time just seems to be passing more and more quickly and at the end of the day we can only be grateful that we had one more day to do our best, to be our best.

To be honest, it makes me wish I hadn't taken the moments at home for granted, you know? Back when all of the kids were at home and we were doing sports and choirs and plays. 

Alas, it does no good to dwell in the past and we must make the most of our moments together when they have a chance of happening. 

So, if you haven't realized it yet, this is sort of a rambling post. I guess it is because there are so many things I want to talk about but really don't know if I should at this point...? You know what they say. Timing is everything. I guess that realization means I will just have to wait it out and share my plans and activities of the next few months some other time.

It's just odd to be so full of energy but still be so calm and mildly complacent, if you understand me. Oh well. All in due time.

Until then, you should just be happy to hear that I am busy and content--and that's saying something.