Hobbies, Not Hobbes

"Saving the world is only a hobby. Most of the time I do nothing." 

- Edward Abbey

 Ah, if only that were truly a hobby of mine. It would be tough, to be sure, but how very satisfying it could be on a day to day basis-- being like a superhero and all. 

On another note, I received a wonderful compliment today! A coworker of mine says I write quite well and the reading of my blog is quite enjoyable. I know people are reading but it is really nice when someone says something about it. And this particular compliment could not be more well timed! For this post is about my hobbies.

Without further ado.

List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them (again, this is in no particular order... I am just writing them as they come to me):

1. Writing. See how well the compliment fits? That is exactly one of the two reasons that I love my hobby of writing. There are actually people out there who enjoy what I have to say and how I tend to write it. I have published a few beginnings to stories on fanfiction sites and the response is always so wonderful and embracing! Secondly, I love putting my dreams and ideas down onto paper so that I can share them with people or so that I can return to them at some later date and see how far I have progressed and how very different my ideas tend to be. It is a wonderful release.

2. Acting. There is simply something about bringing a character to life that has been thought up and planned out by a fellow writer and playwright. I love the growth I experience within my acting and the atmosphere and exhilaration of performing to the audience. I find great joy in both their laughter and their sighs of understanding. Wonderful.

3. Reading. It helps me forget about my own troubles for a while I immerse myself into the imagination. I truly believe that reading is what has kept my heart so young (yes, I know I am only nearly two and twenty, but my heart is still extremely aware and acute to the lesser recognized things of life and tender towards the pains and sorrows of this world). Plus, it also helps me keep my own imagination in shape so that I have things to write about and explore with my own pen and thoughts. 

4. Dancing. I never feel quite as graceful as when I dance with a partner. To learn how to move with someone in such a synchronized way in expected patterns and even some that are unexpected is something beautiful in and of itself. The strength found in working with one another is something that can be applied to many areas of life and also the learning how to rely on one's partner for directions (in the case of the woman to the man) is an interesting concept that sometimes we forget in this independent and competitive world. It is akin to waking up from a long sleep to the ability to access all of your faculties and use them the way the Lord intended.

5. Talking to my friends and family. I love swapping tales of adventure, comedy and romance, to be honest. Especially with people I know. Plus, when I talk with them, I learn so much more than if we just accepted our relationships and went about our regularly programmed lives. I love the moments you remember why you love them and care about them and even find humor in how the way you think about them evolves bare knowledge to a truly in depth understanding of why they do the things they do, the quirks they have, the way they talk, etc etc. I know I would be very sad without them and am thankful (in the spirit of November and Thanksgiving) that the Lord has put them in my pathway when and how He does.  

Plans Beware

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

With this question, I feel as though I have just been time-zapped back to high school, freshman and senior years. Frankly, I loved this question back then because of all the dreams I had that were yet to be realized and that, at that age, were still completely valid in their possibility of happening.
Let's put it this way: in my plans that I made for my future during senior year, 5 years from that time I was to be 23 and either be married or on a mission by the age of 21. Or, in another dream world, be the next American Idol. Yes, I dreamed big. Furthermore, in 10 years I suspected that I would have at least traveled either across the country or out of the country because of either my family needs and necessities or simply because I had the money to. 
But here I am. 21. 3 months from 22, single, no mission plans, and definitely no place among the music stars of today in the works. And sometimes struggling to make ends meet. Now, some of you will read this and immediately begin sharing words of advice and support in saying such things as, "Don't give up!" or "Things will work out soon!"
I admit, I am bummed to be alone but I know it's simply because I have been working on my time instead of relying on the Lord's time. I know things will work out as long as I continue to follow His counsel and promptings, doing what I have been brought up to believe in such as tithing, scripture study and prayer, temple attendance and fulfilling my church callings.

So. Here we go.

In five years...
I will be 26 going on 27. Regardless of my marital situation, I will be happy and will have figured out exactly how money needs to work in my life. If alone, I will have a full-time job in the spring and summer terms at the very least if I haven't finished school or a full-time year round job if I finish school. If done with school, I will have moved out of Utah to a nicer climate, preferably one with rain that is within a close proximity of a temple. I will have a cat. Preferably a gray one with blue eyes. Named Martin. 

In ten years...
I will be 31 going on 32. I will either be married with a growing family or a strong career in the field of my choosing, living comfortably in a studio apartment with Martin. Engaging and sure of myself, I will have friends that will let me be close to their family and perhaps even be endowed with the title of Aunt. I will make it home for every Christmas unless I am in a production on stage, but will be counted as one of the best aunts of all time to my nieces and nephews. 

In fifteen years...
36... almost 37. Either happily married or living close to my parents so I can be there any time they may need me or I may need them for company. Martin will probably have passed away by this time and I will have a little black cat with gold eyes named Salem. I will have written a best selling novel, finally having gotten all my ideas to settle and form into one story instead of many beginnings with loose ends. I will be living comfortably with my own piano and working on either the sequel of my first book or the beginning of a completely new idea. 

This is how I see it and I will be content with what the Lord blesses me with.

Superpowers... if only, if only.

 Admit it. We have all seen the Avengers or some other great superhero based movie and afterward thought about which super power we would want. Invisibility, flight, to be psychic, telekinetic, super strength, the list goes on. 

So... if you could have one super power, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
 
To be perfectly honest, the super power I would want changes from time to time. Recently, however, I would really appreciate the power of empathy-- the ability to feel emotions, thoughts, hopes, desires, and dreams of others. This particular power would be useful in a variety of ways. Job searching would be at least a little quicker in the fact that you would quickly be able to weed out the most unlikely or not be surprised when you are, after all, not hired even though you might think the interview went well.
Therefore, seeing as I am looking for a full-time job at the moment, I suppose this would be the first thing that I would put my empathy to work with. 
But I cannot lie... if I already had a job and everything was going swimmingly, then I would use my empathy to learn what others think and feel toward my friends and myself. I would no longer have to guess and give tentative advice to my friends struggling through the battlegrounds of dating but instead would be able to do a quick little reconnaissance (without them knowing of course, because the super power would be kept undercover) before returning to them and being able to tell them whether or not to go for it. 
Obviously, I too have problems with figuring out if the guy actually likes me or not. How quick and nice would it be to learn which guys I should simply avoid because there would be no chance of dating them? Yes, a rather petty thing, but it sure would save me a lot of heartache and headaches. 
Furthermore, I would be able to feel what they are feeling and perhaps have a better time at comforting those who stand in need of comfort and such things. I don't know why but in some instances, I become extremely uncomfortable and downright prickly when people need comfort but that usually stems from not knowing why they are feeling the way they are feeling or what they want out of the situation when all is said and done. 
Without this ability, I merely state what I think of the situation and they can take it or leave it.

Second Star to the Right...

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."

J.M. Barrie 

I am pretty sure that J.M. Barrie was one of the greatest writers of childhood that will ever be known to this world. But of course this is only my humble opinion on the subject. My childhood was so full of fairies, magic and dreams that I am sure that I will never truly grow out of it. This keeps me from pleasing just any young man from off the street but, to be honest, if he has no imagination whatsoever, I am not so sure we could fit very well together at all.
Often, I read fairy tales and consequently dreamed of the day "my prince would come" and I would fall in love, get married and have babies just as my own mother had. But then I would run off with my older brother, climb apple trees and get scrapes on my knees and splinters in my fingers and would have to go to my mother to get them out with a pair of tweezers. 
If you have not caught on just yet, I am about to take a short trip down childhood memory lane. 
For those newcomers and readers of my blog, the last 19 posts (soon to be 20) have all been based around a list of 30 questions as seen here:
 http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com/2012/01/30-things.html 
Not going to lie. I have really enjoyed answering the vast majority of these questions and have found myself really assessing the things that I have done thus far in my life. It is fun to explore the answers to these questions and hopefully I have shed some light on the person I am for those who do not quite understand me or who simply have wanted to get to know me. Granted some will be learning more than they probably bargained for at first but I always love to hear when someone has chosen to take a few minutes and read what I have written and thought about. 
So, without further ado...


Describe three significant memories of your childhood:
1. The first memory would have to be a small clump of memories to be honest-- those would be the memories I have of spending time with my older brother. Everything from Couches and Lava to making up ninja personae for ourselves (which we drew pictures of, of course...) that we took more time making up than actually acting as, are bright spots in my childhood memories. When he would take time just to play with me I always felt so very special. And I am also sure that he definitely helped my creative side that now displays itself in my writing. Nowadays when we aren't bickering (haha) there are definite effects from the times we would stay up talking until our parents would have no more of it. We might not always see eye to eye but we do often enough and love each other enough that when we do set to catching up and asking for thoughts on our life situations... it is often as if we were back in those bunk beds, on top of those snow hills or hiding in the shrubbery next to the cyclone wire type fence. I love him and would not trade those memories for anything. 

2. Another batch of memory surrounds the time spent with my family in the reading of books. There were a handful of books that my mother read aloud to us but the longest stretching would be the reading aloud of Harry Potter. Mom had thought it would be a great book to engage Jer and my interest's and eventually our younger siblings' as well but oft times we would gather to read it together after a long day of school and she would ask us to refresh her on where we were ("we" meaning everyone but her... she always read ahead much to our irritation and jealousy... and sometimes dismay when she would give a small detail away that we would always forget, of course, before it actually got to that part in the reading). We would even read these books together in the car on our way to vacation destinations. This has had a lot of effect on my love of reading and also that of reading aloud to someone-- partaking in the journey of the book with someone else as they drive. 
I most definitely plan on doing this with my future husband because of the good memories I have with it and the love and unity I have felt through the practice.

3. Lastly, I turn to a memory of baking. There was a certain Sister Hathaway who lived down the street from us in one of our houses in Burney, CA. I am not even sure how it started, but I often went to her house and helped her in the baking of chocolate chip cookies (always). One time we even forgot the eggs until the very last step before the chocolate chips and also forgot to cover the bowl with a towel before turning on the mixer--- this particular setup was ornery and would spit chocolate chips at high velocity across the kitchen.
While the cookies baked, I would join her daughter Abby for some coloring. She always left the skin on the girls in her coloring books blank and I would take joy in meticulously coloring them in carefully so as not to distract from the rest of the picture that had already been done so nicely. 
Memories of Sister Hathaway are incredibly tender to my heart though I haven't really talked to her in years. I also remember laying my head in her lap at church after taking the Sacrament and she would stroke my hair and place random braids throughout the long brown waves. 

Oh, I have so many more memories but I need sleep sometime tonight... perhaps another time?

"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December."

J.M. Barrie

Orange Juice and Living Situations

I daresay I have totally kicked the butt of my cold with orange juice, Emergen-C and a dose of Airborne. I had to laugh however when I went to the store today and bought not one but two things of orange juice. I am thankful that I have found some that I like that is cheap and fits in the fridge. Oh yeah. 
I mean really! Give me some props for graduating from Sunny D to legitimate orange juice. Haha!
On top of everything else, I am thankful for my cousin for all the times that she has taken my laundry for me, that I get to attend my best friend's baby blessing at her ward tomorrow and for the fact that it is finally Daylight Savings once more and not the kind that springs us forward an hour. Perhaps I will be able to sleep better and more properly within this falling back. Would not that be nice?

Okay. Let us cut to the chase. 
If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Again, seeing as they did not give me a specific number to work with I will simply throw out a couple.

My number one place would be Oregon. Why? Because it is close to family, it rains a great deal, and it is green. Plus, although I have heard about the property tax, at least when I go to the store I know I will pay what it says on the price tag without worrying about adding tax to the end total. And choosing a place in Oregon... I would want something closer to Portland but still a short distance from the ocean (maybe a day's worth of travel for the beach). Why? The temple. I think it is extremely beautiful and want to get married there. 

My number two place would probably be somewhere in Europe-- either England or Ireland. From the tales of other peoples' travels to these places they sound pretty neat. Plus, would it not be so cool to walk the same streets that Tolkien walked? That would just give me a thrill to be honest. Plus things seem to be closer... walking does not seem like it would be such a great pain if you lived in the right place. But that is just from my point of view and limited knowledge of the actual living conditions of such places.
Oh! And I hear it rains there as well. And is green. What a novel idea, right?

 My next blog will be addressing 3 significant memories of my childhood. So do not miss it! It is sure to be scintillating. 

On Colds and Forgiveness

Of course. Yesterday, I woke up to a cold. How very delightful. 
The funny thing is, I did not see it coming although after talking to my friend Draco, I probably could have foreseen it. Apparently, when he is about to have a cold, he has a day where his nose itches all day or he sneezes incessantly. Well, I didn't sneeze incessantly but two days before my nose started itching all the time. And BING I have a cold. Curse the luck...
Anyway, at least I only had one day of work left before the weekend so I have a bit until I have to be back around the chemicals that merely irritate my nose. Yay for that!

Moving on. In this particular blog post, the main subject is forgiveness. Such a big topic. 
The prompt is this-- What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Some people say "forgive and forget". Well, I don't know about you, but when someone does something to me that is as life changing as what was done to me, you don't just "forget", nor do you forget the person even if they haven't been anywhere near you for years. However, in the words of Lewis B. Smedes, "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." 
I suppose I should take a few steps back. There was a young man I met a few years ago. He was exciting and new and, dare I say it, even a little dangerous. My young naive heart believed that perhaps I could tame this creature and give him the love that he needed to heal from the past wrongs of people he had known who had shaped him into the person he had become.
We spent hours at a time talking to one another, getting to know each other in such depth that I truly thought that I at least could sympathize and understand him properly. A little time passed and he kissed me. My first kiss. It was nothing like I had been told it would be. I wasn't elated. I felt wounded. I cried for the rest of the night until I fell asleep. We had been texting until I had fallen asleep and so the next morning he asked if I needed him. Not knowing where else to turn for such quick and understanding comfort (of course God wasn't crossing my mind at this point), I asked him if he would come. 
He took off from work and came straight to my apartment. He held me close, comforting me and telling me the next kiss would be better. I fell for it. We often took naps on the couch in my small apartment complex and each time he would leave I would feel completely depressed. Why? Because in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart, I knew he had once again left without promising himself to me. He was still free to do whatever he wanted and kiss whomever he pleased. And I am sure he did. 
This "relationship" was twisted. Toxic. And I continued to believe it was simply how it had to be until he finally saw the light and decided to ask me to be his girlfriend. It never happened.
He asked me to come to him after not hearing from him for two weeks. My natural side had felt as though it had been forced into a drought for those two weeks and I felt if I could simply see him then all would be well and I could continue on my way. I had also believed, while those two weeks had passed, that we had reverted to simply being friends. Little did I know what his true motive in luring me to his side was. 
I should have run at the first kiss. I did tell him I hadn't expected him to kiss me. He knew the words to say. If I didn't want him to kiss me then I could just leave. The words hurt and I refused the doorway out of the situation. 
Thankfully, before the end, the Spirit made one last ditch effort to bring me to my senses. I was saved from the end result that I had promised myself my whole life that I would never reach but because of my decisions, I was not spared the pain. 
We parted and he acted as though we had never met. To this day, I still haven't talked to him. I stayed away from the temple for the larger part of two years. I punished myself for our mistake. Somewhere in those years, I finally forgave him. I have taken from the experience many lessons that have made me a stronger person.
But I have not forgotten. And I will never forget until I no longer have to worry about making the same mistakes that led up to that most critical of decisive moments. The Lord as my strength, I will be better for it and continue to grow. 
Two more quotes that I liked/found humorous are below. Tune in next time to read about where I would choose to live if I could live anywhere and why!

Forgiveness is the final form of love. -Reinhold Niebuhr

When women love us, the forgive us for everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues. -Honore de Balzac

If Wishes Were Fishes...

"I thought you wished you could see the sea!" said the trout."I did," said Jane, "But I never expected the wish to come true."
"Great oceans! Why bother to wish it then? I call that simply a waste of time. But come on! Mustn't be late for the party!”
―P.L. Travers

The great thing about wishes is that at any time you can act on them and give them a chance at coming true. Granted, not all our wishes are plausible in their results or even probable, but we are still welcome to try, aren't we?
In all honesty though, I am a true wisher. I make wishes all the time! On birthday candles, shooting stars and even at 11:11. Often my wishes are rather flippant, just to get them out there so that I needn't burst with all the suppressed wishing but only now again do I actually pursue the wishes I wish and those are usually the ones that sprout from dreams I have or give life to the dreams themselves.
Then again, other wishes I make are very, very long term in the forthcoming of results. So without further ado...

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
There are a great many things I wish I were great at, from acting, to playing the violin to talking with my family on a weekly basis. But the thing that I most wish that I were great at is following the will of the Lord. I suspect that many things I wish I were great at would fall into place if I could just get this one aspect of living my life down. I am sure there have been many times in my life that I have wasted and possibly missed the greater opportunities the Lord was willing to give me because I pursued something or even someone that I thought would be one of the keys to my happiness. 
I suspect there are times when I am better at following His will rather than mine than at other moments and I guess, in the end, I am still learning. I am still growing and progressing. If I were completely fantastic at this one principle, perhaps I would have no more need of this mortal life and would be ready for the next step. 
So, in review, I guess I am mildly thankful that I haven't quite mastered the art of following His will completely because that means I still have things to do, things to accomplish, tasks to go about before He calls me back home. I am living life and although I do make mistakes, and often, I should like to think that I am continually progressing even if it is a small centimeter at a time. 

What do YOU most wish you were great at? I am curious.