Riddle Me This

I am going to start out by saying first: Happy Birthday to My Dear Ol' Dad! Who I love more than any man I know. 
Second: I love my cousins and I am so grateful that my cousin married a man who can help me puzzle out the intricacies of my interactions with boys from the male perspective without holding back, even if what he has to say might not make me feel better about the situation.

Now to move onward. 
What is friendship?
According Websters it is the state of being friendly, the quality or state of being friendly. 
So what is being a friend?
-One attached to another by affection or esteem
-One that is not hostile
-A favored companion

Some might think me silly for giving so much thought to the topic but it has been at the forefront of my mind lately and I figured it couldn't hurt to think about it a little more thoroughly. 
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day who said that he doesn't think that friendship really exists. That it is a cop out. I told him how depressing the thought was and he shrugged, saying it was simply realistic. 
As I walked away and thought more about it, I came to a few conclusions. Not necessarily saying that he was right but I can see where it might have some truth to it. Between members of the same sex, it is really quite easy to refer to someone as a friend. The level of friendship is then established by words such as "best" or "closest" and sometimes even "new" or "old". 

I think the problem with "friendship" comes when you start mixing men and women. 
We have all heard of  the "friend zone", right? When one refers to friends, it is usually in the light of affection and esteem as the above definition denotes. However, there is nothing positive or happy about the friend zone (at least for those who feel or know that they have been placed there).  For those who might not be familiar with the term, the friend zone is where a female or male puts a member of the opposite sex that they may consider a "favored companion" but don't see the relationship developing into anything closer as in the romantic sense that people speak through when they say "I got to marry my best friend". (The irony of that statement is not lost on me, by the way.) 
So the question is, how does one know they have been put in the friend zone and when it is a cop out as opposed to it being legitimate longing for friendship only? (Side note: cop out is defined as something that is done out of fear of failing.)
Unfortunately, the friend zoned person rarely gets to know the answer as to whether it is a cop out. Reason being either they never get a chance to speak to the one that put them there again or even if it was the latter reason they are so hung up on the fact that they have been placed into the friend zone that no matter what the responsible party says, they will assume that it is a cop out and thus dub the once dreamed of person to have copped out because they were too afraid to fall.
It is really unfortunate within the Mormon Young Adult culture that it seems encouraged among our peers that if you are friend zoned to just fly like a bat out of you-know-where away from them and try finding a different person with whom you could develop a romantic relationship. 
But then there is me (or people like me) who would be willing to settle for the friend zone and be good and wholesome friends with the one doing the friend zoning. However, because of the aforementioned happening, some who do the friend zoning turn their backs on people like myself and stop progressing in their friendship. 
This is probably the most disheartening thing that can happen. It is hard for me to comprehend the fact that I am good friends with my ex-boyfriend when I cannot even really cultivate a friendship with a guy I have been on one date with. 

I have had my eyes opened a little though with recent happenings in my life. I have been on dates with a couple guys and after one date it would seem that they have already made up their minds that it won't be going anywhere with me even though the date went well and we didn't suffer for topics of conversation. 
I allow myself to be all depressed about it for a day then I move on with life.
However, I am also a culprit of doing just such a thing. There have been a couple guys that I have had the opportunity to go on more than one date with but I have rejected the second date because I have already made up my mind that all I want is friendship from them. So, I guess what I am saying, if the next guy who takes me on a date wants a second and perhaps a third date, I am going to open-minded and give them those chances. Because, who knows? Maybe the first date, if it feels it went a little awkwardly, was simply because it was a first date and they were too nervous to act like themselves? 
Not saying that this will solve all the awkwardness between us, but at least they will have a chance at a second and third impression.

So here is to a new start. I am not going to totally give up on cultivating friendships with those I feel I have been friend zoned by but I am not going to wait around hoping that certain persons will suddenly "come to the light" and realize that it could possibly work and it is now up to them to take the leap and simply try. The worst that could happen is that we will find that we are better suited for friendship. I mean, really. Is that really that much of a cost at all?
When will you be ready and in a position to be in a relationship?
Relationships of convenience are not real relationships. A relationship is something two people have to work at. Compromise, discussion, maybe even a disagreement or two is a natural occurrence within a budding and growing relationship. The true test is how hard you are willing to fight to make it work when it can and learning when to let go when it could never work no matter how much the two of you try. (Two. Both. It is not a single person's fight.)

I just thought of a song by Landon Pigg. It is called the Boy Who Never:

The strongest structures ever built
Are the ones that don't get built at all
And the kind of bricks that don't get laid
Are the only kind that never fall

He taught himself how not to lose
By never really trying to win
That's how the man in front of you became
The boy who never

I'm afraid of what might happen if
Together we build a wall
'Cause the only kind of love that never gets built
Is the only kind of love that never falls

So I'll forfeit future tears of joy to save us both from pain
I could kiss you now but I'd only miss you more
When I walk away, when I walk away

I never let my heart speak through my lips
I never let my hands rest on your hips
I never said I love you but a heart never lies
I know you heard me say when I said it with my eyes

So I'll forfeit future tears of joy to save us both from pain
I could kiss you now but I'd only miss you more

He taught himself how not to lose
By never really trying to win
That's how the man in front of you became
The boy who never, boy who never

And lastly, it makes me think of the song The Dance by Garth Brooks of which I will only include a small snippet:

And now, I'm glad I didn't know
the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance;
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

And that is the end of this particular walk through the mind of Cassidy. I hope you all have a great week!