Fontanelle

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. I feel sort of cut off from the world if you will during the facebook fast of mine. I mean, I have no idea what anyone else is doing for their weekend, let alone what they ate for their artsy midday snack. But then again, I suppose it is good to recognize the pros and cons of technology in general. 
Take, for example, some plans I thought I might have for this Saturday night. Usually, I would await an invitation on the social media to the event but to confirm that I indeed had my Saturday evening to myself, I had to make a phone call to confirm. (Anyone who knows me knows I pretty much entirely loathe phone calls... ironic that I work in a call center-- so it is always a pretty big deal to my nervous system when I get up the drive to actually make a phone call... ridiculous, I know, but I guess that is what I get for growing up in this text/IM based age.) But aside from that and not knowing what my little sister's plans are for her birthday tomorrow, I have quite a bit more time to myself. 
I have actually taken to starting the Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien and I tell you what, it is a lot easier to take in and digest the writing style and material at 22 than it was in my 6th grade year of elementary school. It is a great piece though and I cannot wait to see what the rest has in store for my creative and imaginative thought processes

Now to address my title. Aside from having the intense pleasure of spending the afternoon with my friend, Miss Bennett, eating fries and Frostys while talking about the intricacies of life (that may or may not have addressed the ridiculous yet fun experiences of dating), we went to the matinee showing of Fontanelle, the play writing debut of a Mr. Bushman (a friend of mine who I think is going to go a long way). It was quite the play, to be sure. 
Firstly, might I point out my love of the small details? Well-- within this play, there is a pet turtle (not the main focus, of course, but still integral) and I was delighted to see that they used an actual turtle! (I think there might even have been two... but I could be wrong.) 
Also, toward the very end of the play, two of the characters briefly touch on how much it rains in the month of April (probably why it is one of my favorite months) and the boy (played by a certain Mr. Isaacs) had left his hat sitting on the ground to catch the rain. The kiss that the audience was waiting for happens and then! He puts his hat on and totally drenches himself! Of course this play was done inside and it didn't rain at all today but, ah, the love and attention to the details of the script. That is what makes it rich.
It also helps when you cast the characters perfectly and I suppose if I were to ever see it performed by a different cast, I would forever be biased to this first exposure and the love I developed for the actors as they embodied the characters they were cast to play. But I get ahead of myself. 
I should probably lay out a synopsis. April Wellington is a college-age girl who has been raised by her mother, Caroline. Her father is an architect who chose his work over Caroline and his daughter after he gets an offer in Paris, France. Of course at first Caroline tries to make it work although she never wanted to leave Pittsburgh, but her emotions and nerves become completely frayed and she ends up moving back to Pittsburgh with April. 
It is mother and daughter for ten years. Out of the blue, Mr. Patrick Wellington comes home. (During his short stay, the Twin Towers are brought down on September 11-- a beautiful parallel of things that happen when they are least expected and definitely grounding.) When April's father asks Caroline to start afresh with him (even asking her to move though he should know by now how she feels toward anywhere that is not Pittsburgh), Caroline blocks him out. And although he had promised that he and April would do something together after school, he gathers his things and leaves.
When Patrick passes away in a car crash, April's boyfriend finally convinces her to travel to Pittsburgh with him so that she can make amends with her mother who she stopped trying to understand and respond to feeling that Caroline is stuck in a dream world where she blocks out everything that might affect her in a negative way. 
Now, with Caroline's poor history with men, she believes all men are dogs and that her daughter should give none of them the time of day. It is rather beautiful though how April helps Caroline snap back to reality-- Patrick may not have been able to get past his love of work but he loved Caroline until the end and not all men were the same (although they all do dumb things from time to time.... but then again doesn't anybody? I mean it, I am not letting Caroline off the hook completely but that can wait a moment...).
That is when she introduces Kyle (the boyfriend) and we fade out...

Ah! There are so many intricacies in this play! I really wish I had had the funds to watch it again for the night showing so that I could give a more rounded and clear review but I suppose this will have to do.
Firstly, I love the way they chose to present it. It was a very simple set (my favorite kind, although every now and again it is nice to see brilliant orchestrated backdrops such as are seen in the Phantom of the Opera and other such large scale plays and musicals) and I will admit it confused me a little at first because the first to enter are April and Kyle obviously coming to Pittsburgh in the morning but then she starts talking of Caroline waking up followed closely by Caroline walking on set... but they do not interact. Then it hit me when they went back to Kyle and April (after having introduced Caroline's best friend and the fact that there was to be no child portraying the toddler April but rather having the actors act to space [which was a brilliant choice... especially seeing as at one point, Caroline practically screams at April to stop crying and it would have been just that much harder to watch had an actual child been on the receiving end]) but they were in two different time frames! 
(Side, side note--- the thing I love about Ted as a playwright is the fact that his concepts could easily be adapted in film format.)
Anyway, it was interesting to see Caroline and Patrick get older and realize that they have a hard time communicating. In my perception, Caroline is so very unyielding at times to seem ridiculously stubborn and hard to work with. However, it does not help that Patrick finds a way to get what he wants (first by dancing around the subject and moving to Paris anyway without weighing all the pros and cons with Caroline) and then when she has finally snapped, he ignores her upset condition, thinking that somehow it will work out.
The final straw is when she leaves but he does not follow. For ten years. Her point is poignant when she asks him why he comes back and when he talks of staying to be a father to April she finds he isn't coming for her like, undoubtedly, she was always hoping he would over the ten long years she has had to stew about the whole predicament. 
(Heavens, I wish I could be so much more articulate about everything that I loved about this play.)
Jumping to the acting: April was excellent. They used the same girl for both the 20+ aged April as they used for the pre-teen child. It was fun to watch her let herself be so childlike in tantrums and the genuine naivety of a child when Patrick comes back into their lives even for that brief moment. As they sat and watched the Twin Towers falling over and over again on the television, just the two of them, she proclaims that she knows he is going to stay with them. He asks how. She says she just knows. Children are so quick to hope and look for the best in people--it makes one wonder what the world would be like if we were to never lose the surety that we used to face life with as kids. Every day was an adventure but our parents would be there, and there was always someone to support us (at least this was my experience growing up and I am thankful for it). 
An interesting thought that was brought up within the play surprised me in the fact that this play was written by a young man of 22. I don't believe it was a "main theme" so to speak, but toward the beginning of the play, April confronts Kyle about her appearance and whether he finds her pretty (this being around the same breaths of conversation in which they discussed why he was withholding his first kiss from her). 
Insight to Cassidy moment: I have always wondered what it would be like to have grown up without my father and brothers. I have never questioned whether they thought me pretty. Even my older brother who I am sure thought me a pest oftener than not would tell me from time to time what made me pretty. My younger brother would embarrass me with his proclamations of how pretty he thought I was. And my father? I have never doubted his opinion of me--even the first time I cut my hair short after having had long hair for a good 6 or so years, he thought me pretty and told me so. 
My heart aches for the young women whom search for acceptance and "love" from the men around them by displaying their bodies in the ways that the media tells them is the way to attract the opposite sex and get them to tell them that they are beautiful. 
Heavenly Father set forth the organization of the family for more than one glorious purpose, I am sure. But how loving His mind was to hope to bless each of His daughters with earthly fathers whom would love them for just being themselves! Whom would tell them that they are beautiful even on their off days! It breaks my heart further when a girl has a father but he does not uphold his job, his sacred duty, to love her and show her how a man should treat her. Dignity and respect and love. Why must men give in to addiction and abuse that creates the anger and unjustified self-righteousness that makes them feel justified in breaking the hearts of their daughters? 
How many tears must He count from the eyes of His daughters who He has entrusted to men that before being sent here vowed that they would protect their honor, virtue and integrity? Makeup will only cover black eyes for the busy passer-by. Their deaths will not go unanswered for! Arise and be men. Stop subjecting your daughters to the pain that you should be protecting them from. 
I love my Father, my father and brothers. And I am so grateful for the men who protect their daughters and raise up their sons to be men ready and willing to rise to the call of our Father to be the protectors of His daughters. 
On this note, I am also thankful for my mother who taught me how to treat men who treat me right and how to tactfully brush past those who will bring me no good--whether it be their own choice or the way they were raised.
And I am also thankful for women who nurture their sons and daughters the way the Lord intended them to instead of twisting their perceptions of what is expected of them when they move on with their lives and are set to live on their own. Women who also allow their husbands to love them and who love and show appreciation for the good things that their husbands do. (I am certainly a big fan of instilling gentlemanly propriety and manners in young men even when they are in single digits-- when a door is opened for me whether it be to a building or to a car, I feel loved and respected. I know some women say that chivalry is dead and that a man opening a car door for them makes them seem weak and dependent but you know what? Heck with that! There are times when I girl needs help into a car! Especially when she might be wearing heels... and I'm not even going to go into the whole pencil skirt thing. But winter times are especially dangerous, I will have you know...)

Wow... that was quite some tangent. I apologize. 
Now where was I...
Ah yes. Aside from the insight that was shown toward the insecurities girls have, there was also the comical moment when a first time father is thrown into the situation of trying to give his teenage daughter advice and good quality analogies to get her through the more trying periods of her life... and utterly failing. But the daughter still getting something out of it in the end.
And that brings us to the title of the play: Fontanelle.
The definition that Patrick gives to April is that fontanelles are the air pockets of a turtles shell that makes it light enough to carry all its life on its back. (Hence the turtle throughout the play.) He tells her this in reference to her yellow rain boots, saying that they are her way of being able to walk on air, tread lightly through life, etc.
At the end of the play, Kyle mentions that her boots must be her fontanelle. She gives him a curious look having just remembered the memory of her and Patrick speaking of the definition of fontanelle and asks Kyle to tell her the definition. He proceeds to give her the one that is usually first in the dictionary (from what I can guess from looking it up on google to be sure I got it right). Fontanelles are the spaces covered in membrane between the five separate plates of an infants skull that make it so the infants head can move through the birth canal. The point being, that the fontanelles are what make it possible to get through. 
To get through. The boots might not help her walk on air or float over her hardships and trials but the fact that they have been an integral symbol throughout her life shows that perhaps they are what she has used to get through her past hardships and what will help carry her through the death of Patrick and the renewing of the relationship between April and Caroline. 

Have I said how much I loved this play? 
Anyway. Now that I have been working on this blog for the past couple hours (a long pause at the beginning due to my roommate putting Gilmore Girls on in the same room as me possibly being one of the main distractions) I think it is about time to lay it to rest for now.

Until I write again. 

Change and Yearning for Spring

6 weeks.
I have decided that 6 weeks is a long enough period of Cassidy being blonde. That's right. I have finally returned to being a brunette. About time too, apparently, from how happy I was to have brown hair once more. So, unfortunately, if there was any one falling in love with me because of my recent blonde photographs, I am going to lose the following. Hah!
I will probably miss it after a while but someone please remind me how hard it was to find good outfits with blonde hair if I ever start talking about possibly doing it again.
On top of all that, I am growing my hair out, once and for all! I will have some pretty funky looking hair for the next few months but it will all be worth it. I was really missing my long hair this morning during my dance class. Why? We are dancing to Hairspray--- very 60's and all about having fantastic updo's.I wonder if any other girls whom have cut their hair short like me have these, but I have dreams of my hair being long again... it is quite depressing when one awakes to find they are not even close to the length in the dream... alas, I suppose that is a good sign that it is time to grow it out again. 

Aside from that, not much else has changed drastically in my appearance but I have started wearing my retainer again. I finally started to get sick of the fact that my top teeth have shifted just a couple hairs so here is to hoping that if I faithfully wear it, they will move back into place. If they return to where they are supposed to be, it will be worth the discomfort. 
My photography friend says that we will be looking to do another shoot here pretty soon. And we will be working outside this time! Thankfully, it would seem that the weather is turning to spring here in a bit which will make it nice to be outside for photography rather than braving the snowy tundras...

I had a question posed to me the other day about how I would feel about living in Utah. Well, those who know me now know that I despise living here purely because of its ridiculous weather mood swings and the dryness of the air. But before I could give my natural answer and reaction, they clarified that they meant for after school. When I have no reason that keeps me here aside from the fact that, possibly, I am married and thus have to compromise with my husband.
To this I say, you know what? It would not be the worst thing ever to live here in Utah if one were married. Especially in the winter which is my least favorite part of Utah--because at least then I would I have someone to come home to and snuggle with. In the end, if we had to stay here because this was where he could get work, then bring it on Utah! I will stay by his side! 
But it would be a nice end goal to move out of Utah. And where would I go? 
Well, I have heard of some pretty spots on the east coast---but I do have a great fondness for the west coast and I spent a great deal of my youth in the valley... so, as long as camping was in a reasonable distance away, I could live in the California valley. But truth be told, if I could live in Oregon or Washington (the more western the better), then I would be completely content with my living situation. 
Chances are, however, that if I am still single by the time I graduate from BYU, I will more than likely zip back over to the coast of Oregon and live my life there (unless of course the Lord wants me somewhere else... with that in mind, I will probably be in Utah til the day I die... lovely thought). 

All that aside, I really do look forward to spring--not to the allergies it will probably bring with it-- but the warm sunshine and spring rain that won't turn to snow... ah, that is the best! Ironically, I also look forward to the first few nights of summer. The sun stays out longer, when you ride in the car with the windows down, the wind is perfect. Can you not just picture it? And feel it? 

Until next time. 

Bucket List

So, I have decided to make a bucket list. Surprisingly, I do not think I have ever written one out. Chances are I will edit this post from time with new items for my list but until then here is what I have:

1. Travel further east than Utah.

2. Visit all the temples in Utah (even if just to walk the grounds).

3. Write one good book.

4. Write one song.

5. Read all of Tolkien's books.

6. Read all of the Narnia books.

7. Travel to either Europe or Japan.

8. Waltz in the rain.

9. Sing with a band.

10. Memorize the poem, the Lady of Shalott.

11. Take my kids to Disneyland.

12. Enter the Portland, OR temple at least once.

13. Hike to the top of Mt. Timpanogos.

 14. Go snowshoeing. 

15. Make homemade pie, successfully (crust and all).

That is all I can think of for now... there is definitely room for improvement. But I need sleep. So. Goodnight.

Moving On

I have realized something.
In the past year I have had my share of heart ache (whether it was fair or not is not really the point). I continued living and believed I had moved on. But just a few minutes ago I was on (surprise) pinterest and reading quotes, relatable and inspirational. As I was reading, a lot of quotes that had to do with missing someone started popping up. Not the, "I miss my grandmother because she passed away," type but, "I am so sad we broke up and even more so because we are never ever getting back together."

Now back up a couple of weeks. I was in the Deseret Book store and while perusing the clearance books, I stumbled upon one called Don't Throw Rocks at His Window: Real Advice to Mend a Broken Heart by Julie C. Donaldson. The title made me laugh and so I picked up the book and read the back. My laughter turned to thoughtful silence as I read the summary and suddenly I found that I was not about to put that book back on the shelf until I had read it.
Upon reading it, I will admit, there were quite the handful of relationship related stories that had me laughing in a mixture of disbelief that they had actually happened and pure entertainment (which in hindsight is a little mean considering some of these people were quite brokenhearted at the time). 
By the end of the book, I had picked up on something: getting over heartbreak is half making the decision to get over the person who broke your heart and half following through with that decision by getting to know yourself better, the people around you and even developing new hobbies to help build up a bit of that self-confidence that got blasted away when the words were said: we need to break up.
And thereafter, I started my real healing. I finally really did let go and decide, "You know what, self? I think it is just about time to move on!" The power of positive thinking is quite astounding really...

Anyway back to the point at the top (trust me, it is most definitely all related) another point the book brought up was how when we first break up with someone (if we do not get a hold of ourselves and fast) we start the unhealthy trend of listening to the usual break up songs. And then... there are the quotes.
"Sometimes, I miss you so much my heart breaks a little."
"When I text you it means I miss you. When I don't text you it means I'm waiting for you to miss me."
And the like. Now. Some might look at the first and think, "But perhaps that is related to a loved one who has passed on." Yes. I can see your point. However, when the picture in the background is of two teenagers embracing...? Yeah. No. And the texts? Okay. I will admit that at first glance (meaning the first time I saw it) I was totally agreeing with it. "It speaks to me!" I probably thought and I don't doubt that I pinned it on one of my boards (which by the way will be going through a quick perusal by me after I am done here) but you know what? We shouldn't be waiting around for a guy to text us! There are times when I miss someone but I don't turn around and text them immediately. Who knows? Maybe the man (note, MAN not boy) of your dreams is missing you like crazy but wants to wait until he can tell you to your face how much he missed you? Or maybe call?
But for heaven's sake. Do not wait. You are much more interesting if you are moving and making a life for yourself. Do not plan around something that might never happen!
Moving on...
Whilst we pine away after the boys that are never coming back to retrieve us, how many opportunities are we missing? If the guy has given you up, there is no reason he deserves your putting your life on hold and throwing your own personal pity parties. (Honestly, if he were to come back to you and you were the same person he had broken up with, why would you assume the results would be different? Just a side thought...)

So. Here I stand. I will glance back from time to time to reminisce as we as humans are apt to do but I will not desire to be back in that time. I will not be as Lot's wife--looking back and yearning to return to stay. No more dwelling and drudging up the past that can never be again. No more saying, "I am over him!" whilst I continue to think of how terribly I miss him. 
No sir. Or ma'am. Whatever the case may be.

When people walk away from you,

let them go.

Your destiny is never tied to anyone 

who leaves you.

And it doesn't mean that they are bad people.

It just means that their part in your story

is over.

Move along like I know you do.

And here I am. I have realized that I had never truly moved on. But you know what? I am changing that. Right now. It is a bright new day and I will move forward in faith. One final thought:

God is in the details. You may have planned out something you think is spectacular but He has written for you a story better than any Hollywood plot. And I believe that.

Bands, Blondes and Sunshine

It is almost exactly a month until the first official day of spring! The weather has been pretty mild the last few days and I love seeing the snow disappear little by little. Of course, once it all dispels it will probably blizzard us again at least one more time but I am going sockless with my pants rolled into capris in an attempt to encourage the sun to beat out the clouds.
Fool-proof.
Moving on.
I had the awesome chance to go out for a sort of girl's-night-out with my roommate yesterday after my ward's dinner and activity for our Ecclesiastical Endorsement for school at the Y. It was pretty nice to go out and get some hot cocoa and watch another couple friends of mine perform at the little restaurant. (Shameless plug, if you get a chance you should check out Powerhouse on facebook. They only have a few songs so far but I am a big fan of Don't Ever Say That Again... it is pretty great to say the least.) It was fun to watch them perform their own songs and also covers of a few of the greats. 

But of course I awoke today to remember that although I did not have class, I do have work. Back to the grind again after a wonderfully chill weekend. 
As I think toward summer, I am really looking forward to it. I will finally move out of the Southridge apartments that have been my living for the past year (and will be almost a year and a half come moving day) and so I will have a different environment, different ward, and will have the summer to hopefully make some good friends. Of course that is along with working as many hours as I possibly can and getting ready to dive back in to school, fully submersed. 
The place I plan to move to has a pool I believe and a piano so it will be nice to have a few relaxing things to do this summer where I do not have to travel far to enjoy. Maybe I will try my hand at that whole song-writing thing again... probably not, but at least I can memorize a few pieces that I can play anywhere instead of always having to haul a bag full of books up onto campus. 
Again, moving on. I finally put up a good picture on facebook of my daring turn to blonde hair. Might as well let you all have a look...

I cannot explain how odd it is to look at myself in the mirror and see this but I suppose by the time I get used to it I will have bought another bottle of dye and turn it back to brown. I actually anticipate doing that sometime next month. Can't have prince charming falling in love with my blonde self, now, can I? Because I sure as heck am not keeping my hair blonde for the rest of my life. It seems odd that one's wardrobe would be tailored toward one's hair but mine is. There are a few pieces in my clothing lineup that I have felt that I simply could not wear once my hair was this light shade. Maybe it is just my own personal opinion but there is a certain pink dress that will not be worn until I am brunette once more. 

Aside from that honestly not much has been happening in my life-- at least nothing crazy or unexpected. Sure a few of my friends have either gotten engaged or received their mission calls but that kind of thing does not really alter my course, you know?
I do however need to start planning my trip home. I am wondering if I might be able to find someone who wants to go to Oregon (or thereabouts) during the same week that I want to go so we can drive over... I like the idea of a road trip more than a plane ride but... I have a feeling the plane is what will be used. Ah well. As long as it is before the end of July, I will be quite pleased. Quite frankly, I think the best time would be the end of May or beginning of June depending on when Brookings releases its students... my little sister is graduating, you see? And, well, I cannot miss that for the world. 
Well. That being said. Perhaps I will start scoping out plane tickets. I hope you are enjoying the sunshine as much as I am for those who live close or who are blessed with sunshine today (though I hear in some parts of California there has been more snow... ick, good luck with that). 
 

The Guide to Hugs from Cassidy

I had to laugh a little bit today. (Okay, so more like yesterday evening in to today.) 
What was the topic? Hugs.
As I was talking to my friend about hugs, we came to the conclusion that there are so many ways hugs can be interpreted and continued to discuss who gets what hugs at what times from us. I had to laugh at the variety and then realized how often I decide beforehand what hug I am going to give and why-- of course, I do not always articulate and walk myself through why I am choosing the particular hug but anyway. 

Simple though they may be, there is just so much meaning in a hug. I am going to be honest as usual when I write to you and say, I love hugs. But that does not mean I hug anyone and everyone. Now, those who see me daily would probably say otherwise but I really do not hug just anyone. 
And even those I do hug, there are some who receive one hug and some who receive other hugs. So. What am I going to do? I am going to describe the hugs I give and whom I give them to. I am sure in hindsight this might not be the best idea ever but I am willing to bet not everyone reads my blog. Ridiculous, I know, for who would not want to be in on this? Ah, right...

Anyway. Without further ado:

• First off--the hug that does not occur. Okay. This does not mean I do not like you. At least not all the time. Usually it means that I am simply not in the hugging mood. But there has been a time or two when I simply do not want to give the wrong message. Straight up. There are some people you simply cannot hug no matter how short because they will somehow derive hope for a deeper meaning than the simplest hug should convey. Often, I do not hug those that I have spent a fair amount of time with and still cannot get a read on where I am on their "feelings scale". It is safe to say that if I even have the faintest niggling hint that the person might like me, or could like me, and I do not want them to... I will not hug them. But, really, 7 times out of 10... I just do not want to be hugged.
• Second-- the brief hug. Usually used after meeting someone for the first time, having good conversation with them, and saying farewell. This does not happen very often unless it is after a first date. But again, it is a way of encouraging the guy to try harder the next time or just keep up the good work. The other times this hug has been in use is the moment where you must make nice even if you do not like the girl for the sake of your friend. Thankfully, my friends seem to have good taste so I have not really had to use this one. 
• Third-- the brief but tight hug.Simply used when I run into someone I care about but often literally have to keep running (or they are on the run themselves). This is also a commonly used heart-broken hug in my line of hugs. You know when you care about a person so much, and all you want is to see them happy, but then they choose someone else and the dream is gone and you must move on? But you cannot give up on the, albeit, brief hugs they bless your heart with? Yes. Those hugs.
• Fourth-- the long hug- not to be confused with the fifth, the long and tight hug. The first is usually done in either a lazy way or in a hesitant manner. I give the lazy ones to those who are huggers but not always my favorite people to hug, no offense. Or to those I hug more times than I care to count. Meh. The hesitant kind are given when I am really hurt and want to be comforted but do not want to seem a burden or want to pass it off as a smaller problem than my heart is treating it. The second of the long hugs is definitely saved for those who are most dear to me and those whom have seen me at my lowest and most depressed. Those whom know that sometimes I just need to be held. Other times I use this hug when I have not seen my friend in a ridiculously long amount of time. So, do not think every time you see me hugging someone thus that it means I am a depressed wreck. Haha!

Onto the second part and probably much shorter explanation of Cassidy Hugs. 

Levels.
Yes. That is right. Levels. And what I mean when I write that is where my arms go around the hugged. 

1. One arm up, one arm down. Some have referred to it as the "bro hug". Rightly so. I do not think I have often seen two grown men hug with one's arms on top and one's arms on the bottom unless the height difference encourages it to rid the huggers of awkwardness. Moving on. When I hug people like this... I actually feel really awkward. As if we could not make up our minds and thus gave in to this awkward placement of limbs. Not many feel this way, but I do. And that is what currently matters in this blog, right? Right.
2. Arms under. When I feel like it is a strictly familial feeling relationship between me and a guy, this is what usually happens. It also makes me feel small and sometimes a little childish. It is usually my attempt to be cute. 
3. Arms over. Well... sometimes you are taller than the guy and it would just be awkward for the opposite to happen. But mostly it is used when I feel particularly close to the guy or have feelings for the guy. Or he does not give me any other choice but to put my hands up, so to speak. Who am I to complain if the guy is giving me a hug and he may be just slightly attractive? I mean really. But all that aside, I usually see it as definitely the hug that leans more toward romance than the familial love. In the wise words of Mr. Bennet,  "Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then." I really do think all girls thrive at least a little on the dramatics of life. 

At this moment, I daresay this is all I have to say on the subject, at least as far as explaining my own embraces goes. But I must say one of my favorite ways to be hugged is when the guy picks me up and spins me around... and it does not hurt one bit when he waits to lessen his grip until I am good and ready. Sometimes you just need the extra long hug, you know? If only to reassure yourself that at least at that moment, someone cares.

But the best hugs are those from my family. Enough said.

Timing is Everything

Alright. So I meant to have this out earlier in the weekend but alas, I finally find myself with some stress free time where I do not feel bad just sitting and writing to the small group of people who have taken the time to read what I have to write.

A lot seems to have happened at the same time as not much at all. But first things first.

Yes. I dyed my hair blond. I have taken a few pictures but I have yet to post any of them to facebook. I have not even had the moment of thought to transfer them from my camera to my computer so maybe tomorrow I will have some time to put some new photographs up onto my account. 

Next. I got a new job! I cannot tell you just how thrilled I am! It is definitely a different pace from the custodial job that I have had under my belt since December of 2011. It is one of those call center types but instead of selling potentially useless stuff, we schedule doctors appointments for various offices. So it is nice to get into a true service oriented call center. My hours are actually pretty good. Not ideal but I will not complain because they are heavenly in compare to the  8:30 to midnight shift I have been dealing with since just before summer break. Yes sir. This work shift goes from 3-8 Monday through Thursday and 2-7 on Fridays. What does that mean? I am no longer working on Sundays! What else does this mean? I get 25 hours a week which compared to the 17.5 (if that) hours I was working at custodial is amazing for a little part time student such as myself.

Now I know a few of you are reading this and wondering what is happening to my other job-- especially those of you whom I informed that I would continue my custodial job til they fired me. Well. Surprise! I have been terminated... apparently, to work on campus one must be taking 1 full credit of classes. I am currently taking .5 credits... the add/drop deadline has passed and unless I want to fork out the money to take more credits... well, I am considered ineligible for the job. Thursday was my last day and to be honest? I am really going to miss my coworkers. 
I cannot tell you how much I tried when I first started working there to not make friends because I had not planned to stay as long as I did. Apparently, my coworkers were going to have none of that and soon they got me talking and laughing and joking around and thus, I at least had friends whilst I worked there-- I hope to keep them but you know how it is. Life goes on.

But this brings to mind the idea of the Lord's timing. I mean, honestly, what were the odds that immediately after I was hired at a new job that the school would finally check the specifics of my enrollment and tell me they would terminate? Not only that, but my last day of custodial was also my first day of my new job. 
I am also glad of the location of my new job. There are a couple of restaurants and other businesses within walking distance of the bus stop I use to go to the call center. Guess who is going to look for another job come this Monday? Hopefully someone will hire me for the hours prior to 3 instead of after 8 so that my bus pass doesn't become null and void for after work, you know? But I have gotten this far so I know with continued faith and work, it will work out for my good. 
On top of that, even if I cannot get anyone else to hire me, the call center has let me know that, once I get rolling, I can work more hours and even have some time in the office on Saturdays if that "works into my schedule" because we all know just how busy my schedule is right? Insert sarcastic tone here. 

Anyway-- that is how my busy, hectic life seems to be going now.

Oh, and guess what? My birthday was just this last Wednesday. Is life much different from what it was a week ago? Well... actually yes, but I do not think it is because I turned 22. Ah well. It was nice though. I got a few small things from my loved ones and a beautiful gift card for Deseret Book so that I can get a new set of scriptures, my own copy of Jesus the Christ and possibly a talk on CD. I am loved, dear readers, I am loved. 
I also got to go to Red Mango which is a little frozen yogurt place and I actually would totally recommend having the raspberry yogurt with the little dark chocolate Ghiradelli's pieces. It was the perfect combination and I am glad to have been able to catch up with my friend whilst we ate it. I love those moments where there is no rush.
 
Speaking of love-- I love sleep! And thus, that is where I am headed as of just about now...