Rule #2!

I can't bring people back from the dead.... it's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
(Can't remember if it's actually #2 but if you get the quote, you get brownie points.)

Today's topic is as follows:

Something I Feel Strongly About

Those of you who have been following my blog over the past couple years (or even the last few months) can probably guess what this blog will be about. Yes. That's correct.

Dating.
Where do I start?
The Game. Oh, the Game. Can we just stop with the Game? This thing that we have come to associate with dating is simply an embittering trial to see who can care the LEAST about whether or not the other person wants to be in a steady relationship. We have all done it, I am sure (even myself on occasion because, hey, who wants to be left out on this brilliant idea) where we wait and wait for the other person to text us or contact us first, to show how desperate they must be for our attention. Good grief. If you're interested, don't keep it a secret from the other person especially if you've already gone as far as to ask them on a date! From a personal standpoint, I have come down to the conclusion that if I don't hear from a guy within a week to a week and an half of the first date--he must not be all that interested in me and, as such, my interest in him goes down.
Perhaps this is a harsh time table, but honestly I am looking to the future, friends. If I say yes to a date, chances are I'm interested in seeing if we can go somewhere. I have enough male friends--so if you're looking for just friendship, please don't block the door.

Another point on dating is this: I am old-fashioned. I like when the guy calls me up with a plan for a date. It is a lovely thing to be open to flexibility in the plan, but be decisive. If you don't have a particular restaurant picked out, that's fine. We can decide together. But do have the plan that we will go out to eat. Or that we will go bowling (or ice skating, or mini-golfing... options aren't a terrible thing). But please choose a direction for the date that will help you get out of the date what you are looking to get out of the date.
If you cannot call for some reason and are limited to text or email or messaging on Facebook--if you don't specify that you are taking me on a date, I will assume that you are looking to hang out. Which does not pique my interest toward something more and I will think that you don't have any serious intentions toward me.

So in summation my thoughts on dating boil down to this-- if you are interested in me, plan a date (day, time, activity--doesn't even have to cost anything, could be card games or something at your apartment even), call me, if it works express interest in a follow up and try not to leave me hanging if at all possible.
And if I say yes to a second date--that's a good sign. It means I'm into you too. Silly.

Love,
Me

PS I am an honest and straightforward person and will tell you if I feel something amiss or feel that something could go somewhere. All I ask is that you do me the same courtesy.

Who's Up for Round Two?!

Hey all.

So, I used a few prompts from this list of 30 Writing Prompts a year or so ago but as life goes on, I thought I might use them again seeing as I have changed, life has changed, and there are new people to introduce myself to at the beginning of this new year.
Therefore, without further ado, the topic today, friends, is this:

5 Ways to Win My Heart

Alright, so this isn't exactly rocket science that we are dealing with but for those who are better at learning when someone spells things out rather than learning by observation, I see this as a perfectly reasonable topic to cover.
Onward!

1. Use your vocabulary.
I am a reader and a writer (surprise) and thus I have a great love for words and the use of them in daily conversation. Granted, one should not always be using "unto" or such words that one reads in old or even spiritual texts on a daily basis, but when appropriate, it is fun to hear someone speak of something going "awry" rather than badly, to know that someone has had a "splendid" day rather than a good one.
Bonus points if you use azure instead of blue or lavender instead of purple. Haha! Okay, maybe not, but you get the gist.

2. Thoughtfulness.
It has come to my attention through the years that compared to my schedule, most people I interact with have highly packed and busy schedules. I am also not exactly high up on the monetary chain. What does this mean in regards to thoughtfulness, you ask? Simple. If I have crossed your mind and you wonder, "Is she well?" then if you shoot a text, just a quick little "Hope all is well in your world", that pretty much puts me on top of the world. Not a lot of money? No problem! If you see something I would think is cute, a snapshot wouldn't go amiss or even if you see a wildflower on the roadside or perhaps an acorn in your walking path--if it were given to me? That would put me over the moon. I kid you not.

3. Time.
I cannot rightly remember which General Authority it was, perhaps President Uchtdorf--but they said that love is spelled T-I-M-E. Sure, I am well aware that it might not be hours on hours (maybe not even a full hour) but even a fraction of time spent with me or even just talking with me means more than packing all of our interaction into one day of the week.
If there is a large amount of time to fill together (this is more for romantic interests) then Cuddle Time is wonderful--for I am a rather cuddly creature. And I am not ashamed.

4. Honesty.
Is there really anything to elaborate on this? If something bothers you, be upfront and tell me. Is there something that you love that you want to share with me? Let me know! I want to help or share in your joy! If you are a nerd? I can almost guarantee there is at least one topic we can nerd-out together on.

5. Junior Mints and Daisies.
This is obviously either for my really close friends or, dare I say it, romantic interests. Junior Mints are my favorite candy. Of. All. Time. And, you know, if you were ever in the market to brighten my day with flowers---daisies are the way to go. Tulips and roses are a good second. But daisies definitely take the proverbial cake.

I am sure there are infinitely more ways to my heart but these are a few of the most direct. Questions, comments, or concerns can be directed to me or even my best friends, I'm sure.


Love,
Me

New Year, Fresh Start

Do you ever get caught up in that most euphoric feeling that everything is new? That opportunity has finally come knocking and it is finally YOUR time to do all those things that you have been wanting to do but just haven't been able to muster the energy to pursue?
With the kick start of the New Year and everyone asking the big question, "What are your resolutions?" I have just been mildly overwhelmed with the feeling that this year, 2015, is mine. The winds of change are a-brewing and there is a lightness in my step and heart that has not been there for quite a while now.

I was having a conversation with myself (for who better to talk with about making improvements than with myself?) the other night and I asked myself, "Self, why is it that you can smile? Even through all of the trials and heartbreaks of the past years?" And you know what I told myself? What the answer was to that question? Hope. Faith.
I look to the future with a prayerful heart and a hopeful outlook that the future will be better than the past as long as I hold true to the faith that has gotten me this far. So do I have resolutions? You bet your sweet scooper. Will I hold fast to them? Time will tell but hey, it is a New Year and a fresh start.

One of my favorite gifts from Christmas happened to be a crock pot--one of the items that I feel will help me in at least one of my resolutions to eat more regularly and healthily at that. So, feel free to send good crock pot suggestions because I am going to need not a few. :)

I wish you all luck in the keeping of your resolutions and the realizations of your goals for 2015. And remember--the year is what you make of it, so run like the wind and take a leap now and again.

Love,
Me

14 Days! 2 Weeks! 1/2 a Month!

Tomorrow morning marks the blessed 14 day countdown until I return to the shores of Oregonia. It's seems so odd to be so close to going home seeing as the ticket was purchased  2.5 months ago--though we had more or less set the date about 4 months ago.

Anyway. The point is that it is coming and soon and I really cannot believe that it is a mere two weeks until I can have all the hugs I want and good card game fights I can take for two weeks. That's right. I was generously given two whole week away from Utah. More importantly, two whole weeks on the coast with my loved ones there. 

The next two weeks themselves will be full of celebrations from get-togethers with friends, wedding receptions, and even a party at work. Then of course there is work to be done and preparations to make for the return home. 

As this year draws to its close, I am nearly bursting with gratitude for the happenings that have passed the time and the friends that were made, and even the friends that were kept. It's beautiful when you realize that you are where you are meant to be at a given time and that even though some people simple pass through your life others are at least making the effort to stay--whether because there is more they will teach you or more for you to teach them or perhaps even that they simply like the company you keep---I am thankful for those people. 

With the turning of the year, I feel a great sense of hope that next year will be even bigger and a lovelier mark in the past years I have been granted to live thus far. In just under two months I will be 24 years old. I don't feel near old enough but that's what the years tell me. 

Anyway. I just wanted to share my excitement over the time frame I will be living through before Christmas strikes. 

Love,

Me

Family

I have been aware of this for a very long time but as the holiday season and the end of the year draws ever nearer, it gives one pause and perspective to remember just how I have survived yet another year of this mortal life. And that, my friends, is my family. Not only because they are the one thing on this earth that is truly mine but because of their awareness of that fact and their willingness and unconditional acceptance and acting upon it.
Adulthood has been a rather wild and oft times rough ride for me and it boggles my mind to realize that I am coming up on my 6th year out of high school. I am still single and trying to figure out what it is I want to DO with my life. I get sick oftener than I would like and I am definitely not where I imagined I would be when I wrote that "10 Year Plan" back in my Senior year of high school.
I have suffered bumps and bruises but... in hindsight, I do not regret it. I have realized things about myself and about the people and world that I am surrounded by that I do not think I would have learned had things gone "according to plan".
I must admit, however, that this past year has been one of the most difficult. I am thankful that I have had a steady job so that I could have these difficulties without the added burden of great financial stress.
As those of you who read my blog know (and those who pay close attention to my Facebook posts even down to the comments on statuses) I came to the discovery this past year that I have depression and anxiety. The inkling of the possibility occurred to me towards the end of last year but did not bloom into a certain knowledge until around the end of January. Because of the nature of my anxiety, I did not set up meetings with a counselor until mid-March or so and by June I was told by my doctor that my depression, at least, was a chemical imbalance. Something he could not personally help me on.
Therefore I went to a medical doctor, told him my symptoms and started taking medication which I have been on for the last couple months now. I am happy to report that although I am not finished taking the medication, my emotion stability is much greater than it was to begin with and I cannot express my gratitude adequately. I have never been extremely savvy with expressing my emotions in front of others and was horrified at how I was quickly spinning out of control--waking in a slump and, no matter how many good and beautiful things would happen in a day, I could not pull my head above the water that I was drowning in.
I am steadily regaining my ability to see the beauty in the small things in my day and how refreshing it is to recognize them again.
However, I would not have been able to get to this point without my family. I know that they have kept me in their prayers quite diligently. I have been helped out financially so that the burden of doctor's bills would not be mine alone to bear. I have been given love and words of encouragement. Hugs when possible and smiles oftener than that.
I am thankful that they are so willing to help me out--that they make the time and have the energy with which to support me. I coming to the realization almost daily that this is not something to take for granted. My family is special. It is special in the case that they care so much and are willing and bold in the sharing of that knowledge. I have friends who would rather stay here in Provo rather than go home for the holidays. Why? I cannot fathom the resistance that they have or the home situations that they come from that would so strongly compel them to want to stay away.
My family is far from perfect. We fight and nitpick and have moods and moments of bad communication but I know that at the end of the day, if I had my choice, I would be there with them. Surrounded by them. I am thankful for the knowledge that at the end of the day, no matter the disappointments or anxieties we have caused each other, that we love each other and would do anything within our abilities for one another.
The world is so dark and lonely and it will only be darker and lonelier still if we cannot, first, learn to love our family--those who raised us and unconditionally (or at least should) love and support us. Life is tough. I could not make it through the end if I did not know two things--that I have a family here on this earth that love me and that I have a Father in Heaven who considered to give me one such as this that would be a help throughout my probation on Earth.
For these things I am most thankful. And I cannot wait for this month to pass and have us reunited (in house and over the internet) for Christmas.

Love,
Me

Composition

So I do not know if this is a normal thought process... but do you ever have those moments while listening to truly epic and poignant film scores and wish someone would compose music for the background of your life? Unfortunately, most of the film scores I listen to would not be able to apply to the moments that happen in my day to day ramblings. One hardly suffers anything on a general basis that would fit the compositions of John Williams from his scores for Episode III of Star Wars, for example... you know? The really moving pieces that make you cry when Padme realizes that Anakin has truly turned to the Dark Side? Yeah. My life is hardly so dramatic as that.

Ah well, it was just a thought that occurred to me and I figured I would throw it out into the void.

Wonder of Darkness

I come from a line of belief where I have been raised to see the good in people--to know that we all have the light of Christ in our lives, if not all the time, at least on occasion. But we are all born with the light which I believe contributes to the feeling of warmth that comes from holding a newborn child (an opportunity I have been blessed to share in a handful of times).
However, with the mention of Charles Manson in the news and how he is getting married, the conversations that I have been having with my supervisor brought up the point that serial killers tend to have a following. A great deal of people will see their "work" as what it is--twisted, disgusting, degrading, a perversion of our God given agency to harm those around them rather than help them. But they have followings nonetheless that have a high and unhealthy admiration and devotion that makes my skin crawl. Not to say I haven't done my fair share of late night Wikipedia perusing--there is a morbid fascination that causes me to ask "what lead them to this?" "Were there signs?" "Could this have been prevented?"
Furthermore, aside from the serial killers of history, I have pondered a time or two about Hitler and how his reign of terror developed into the mass genocide of the Jews and other people that he didn't see "fit" to live on this earth. How did he and all others like him manage to become the people they became? I mean, yes, agency and environment just to name a few contributing factors have a great deal to do with it but how did they make it here? To Earth? To inhabit bodies of flesh and bone to be tried and tested the way Heavenly Father's plan dictated?
Now, I am not a theologian by any means, but growing up going to church weekly has instilled at least a basic understanding and knowledge of the war in Heaven where the two plans were revealed (our Father's plan that included agency and Lucifer's which would force all back to Heaven) and the "voting" thereof that ultimately lead to Lucifer renamed Satan to be cast out of Heaven followed by his ardent supporters and followers. One third of the host of Heaven. The spirits that never will have the opportunity to receive bodies in the likeness of our heavenly parents are forever doomed to serve Satan and lost to us, their once brothers and sisters who chose to follow Christ in the acceptance of our Heavenly Father's plan to come to Earth to be tried and tested.
Our first trial passed, we were then sent to Earth. All of us alike in the fact that we chose the right. But would it stand to reason that our levels of how much we believed in our choice vary from spirit to spirit? We all chose to follow Christ but how many of us were fully committed and joyous in the prospect and how many just chose the path because they knew it would get them here? Were there any who were torn at the choice? Who followed the majority (the two thirds) because they feared being thrown down from Heaven?
It makes me wonder. It makes me burn with the curiosity of my knowledge from my pre-Earth life. Did I personally know those who would be murderers when they came here? Did I know any of them as well as I would like to think I knew those who I consider family here on Earth?

It makes me wonder....