Of Love and Christmas

What is your love language?
So, yes, I decided that I would actually go to Google and looked up the actual Love Language Profile quiz so that I could see where I am currently. My results are as follows:

11 Quality Time
6 Physical Touch
5 Receiving Gifts
4 Words of Affirmation
4 Acts of Service

As I read the preview description, I read that 12 is the highest score you can get on any one of the love languages so to find that I had an 11 was actually pretty exciting to me. I really encourage anyone to go and take the quiz just because it is so interesting. 
Anyway, back to my personal love language-- Quality Time. This is the site's description:

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

I cannot believe how accurate this is in describing me! In all of my experiences with relationships (romantic and not), I have always been surprised and sometimes truly hurt when a person says that they cannot give me what I need. When asked to elaborate, no one really cares to and it makes me wonder if it is the way I act. I am a rather touchy feely person (although, just so you know, in the description of Physical Touch as a love language these people aren't necessarily touchy) and welcome hugs from just about anyone. (Except for in acting class... I have no idea why, but it bothers me for people to touch me while I am acting... perhaps because there is a committed audience...?)
In other words, when I enjoy a person's company or their personality, I tend to show them and I suppose for some people this might translate into something they personally cannot handle more of-- perhaps because they are inexperienced/never been kissed or are simply not comfortable with touch. 
But I must admit that whenever someone tells me upfront that they cannot give what I apparently "need" I always follow it up with this, "It really doesn't take that much to make me happy. Just a little time in your day, even if it's just 5 minutes where you talk to me and actually pay attention..."
You would not believe what a difference this makes! 
On a side note, about two years ago now, I was talking with my Aunt Rene and was taken off guard when, after she had asked a question, she would look at me directly and really make a concentrated effort to listen to my answer. At first, I was a little uncomfortable under the assessing gaze but stopping to think about it, I realized I really appreciated and loved that undivided attention. (I have even taken to the habit in my conversations with others.) 

I love spending time with people one on one because it helps me get a feel for who they really are. I mean, it is great to see them in group situations as well, but there are some questions that really pique my curiosity that are better asked when only the two of you are listening to the answer. When I ask questions, I try to ask them in such a way that the answerer won't feel pressured into answering them. Why? Because there are some questions I, too, wish I didn't have to answer either because it is a private thing or I simply do not know the answer. But I do love answering questions. I ask hoping that they will reciprocate and ask me to answer their curiosities as they have answered mine. 

Sometime last week, I actually had a date planned. I cannot tell you how excited I was and how much I looked forward to it. Even after I was told that the boy just wanted to be friends, I figured we would still go with simply the intent of becoming better friends. Quite frankly, the absolute cancelling of a date is incredibly damaging to my spirits. It is one thing to postpone it because at least then, the anticipation I had for the first planning can only become bigger and more glowing for when the date finally comes. 
But no. This was cancelled. No words of, "maybe next week" accompanied his half apology. What was worse? The fact that although he said he would be willing to talk it out, he had already made up his mind and it would have been a waste of my time because he had no intention of listening to me. 
When someone simply flat out decides not to listen to me... it makes me wonder what kind of person they were to begin with. Did they really like me? Or did they simply like the idea? 

Anyway, the point here is this: if you want to show your love for me, take some time out of your day (or perhaps for those truly busy people, your week) to spend some one on one time with me. No distractions. Listen. And I will put a plug in here according to my personal preference, talk to me. I want to hear about you! How things are going. For those I don't know well, your likes and dislikes. If I reach out to you in any way it is because I want to know you, talk to you, see you. I never reach out to people at random in hopes that you will pass just a few minutes with me. 
Take the quiz yourself and tell me what your love language is so that I can properly speak to you.

On a completely different note (but then somehow relatable, I am sure)-- November is almost over and dovetailing into December. To be honest, I am just like a kid at this time of year. I think about all the things that I want/need and compile a list so that anyone who wants to can give me a gift to basically convey the love they had for me throughout the year. 
However, I also cannot wait for the day when I can truly reciprocate to my loved ones. It kills me, being out here on my own but not having enough to buy and send Christmas presents to my family and closest friends. 

This year, however, it isn't really a list of wants but rather needs. Yes, there will be some articles of clothing asked for but believe you me, it is because other articles are being worn out, etc. But here it is. A look into my life according to what I would be most thankful to receive this year if I am to receive anything. 

1. Money. Why? Groceries and other things like medicine that need to be purchased at the grocery store.
2. Pants. Why? Incredibly, although I am not growing, pants don't last forever and tend to wear where they cannot be fixed. (Last time I checked, I am size 10 in Juniors... however I have lost a little weight lately so I may go try on some of the usual pants I get to see if I am still a 10.)
3. Zip-up hoodie in neutral color (either black, grey or white). Why? As much as I love my hot pink pullover hoodie... it doesn't match everything if you understand me.
4. Layering tank tops. Why? Just like pants, I may not be growing, but they get worn out. Medium.
5. Words of encouragement. Why? It's kind of tough out here. 

That is really it for my needs. A small want would be make-up--specifically brown eye-liner but hey, I can get by with black if I need to. 

Yep. That is it. 
I love you for reading this and taking a personal interest in the goings on in my life and mind. Thank you.