Earlier this evening, a friend of mine got hit by a car while she was crossing the street. I was with my Family Home Evening group when a boy in my ward popped his head into the apartment and made the announcement. It was strange. I had just spoken to her not a few hours earlier, making plans for after our FHE's. Running outside revealed a fire truck, police cars, and much to my dismay, an ambulance, lights flashing and all.
I couldn't go to her side, but they were strapping her to a gurney and though I heard that she was responding and talking with the paramedics, my heart plummeted and tears I had been holding in for a weeks now came trickling forth. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. After the ambulance took off, I walked briskly to my apartment followed by my roommate. Soon my nervous energy and anxiety prompted me to start cleaning the living room at a rapid pace followed quickly by my roommate starting on the kitchen.
She asked if there was anything more she could do and my mind went into panic mode and I knew the person I wanted to call but wasn't sure if I would be allowed to. I finally called my dear friend (or texted rather) and asked that they drop by to give me a hug--something that seems to calm me, or at least let me know that it is alright to have a moment of weakness.
My friend came and after drying my hands (with my anxious energy I decided to make myself potato fries) I finally allowed them to hug me. I had controlled my emotions before their appearance but suddenly everything was brought back to the surface and I was thankful that he had responded to my simple request.
We talked of things, some related to our friend who had been hit and some to stop me from thinking darkly and nonstop of the current events. We took the garbage out and discovered the rain was freezing--perhaps it will snow tomorrow? He made sure I was fine though I knew he was busy as ever and was needed elsewhere. But that gratitude made the night easier to bear.
My wonderful roommate suggested a movie night for us and so we popped The Holiday in to her laptop and forgot the world for a while. After it ended and our other roommate had returned home with a favorable report of our wounded friend, we spoke of the craziness that life presents us and how inconvenient the timing of certain happenings in our lives are.
Then what seemed like out of nowhere, she asked if I knew the feeling of loving someone without knowing them--not like the romantic love, but that of having been so close to someone in our premortal lives that once we meet them here on earth, it is more a meeting or reunion of our souls rather than making a new acquaintance or friend.
My answer to the question is yes.
I have had a handful of best friends where we "just clicked" or where it seemed easier to open up and just speak to them than it is with others. Some people... my heart just seems to move for. I feel as though I know them already without having to have the deep conversations. Then there are also people with whom I can share in an embrace and just feel "home". And it doesn't matter what crap we go through up until the point when we really just need them to stand beside us because our souls are so far beyond that, whether we realize it all the time or not.
I live for experiences such as these--to find those people that I loved so dearly in the premortal existence that not even this fogginess or cloud of mortality can separate our souls from knowing and recognizing one another.
I guess I just wanted to thank you--those who I have experienced this very special, treasured, and beautiful connection with for finding me again after all these years. For loving me enough to not give up on finding me once more and, upon finding me, not hiding your kindred spirit from the searching and desire of my soul.
I love you. And I look forward to reacquainting myself with you--no matter what form it takes or how long we have to wait until we find that we must make the time if we are to ever find the time.
Thank you. You are lovely.
