February

You know that feeling of possibility that comes at the beginning of a new month? The feeling that comes after you have made it through another nail-biter and come out a little ruffled but ready for the next challenge?

February has come and with it a new beginning. A few new beginnings, in fact. And I am grateful for every single one of them. I am thankful for the ability to say that I will do better this month in my relationships with family and friends. I will do better with my spiritual progress and the healing of my emotional soul. 

Another thing I have found a great need to be thankful for is my uniqueness. I am anything but your average every day "woman" or at least what the world has taught us to believe is the average woman. 

I say this because not all of us (male or female) make connections with those around us with ulterior motives. Honestly, I could not begin to explain why I fight for one connection or friendship as compared to another one. I cannot always explain my own feelings or justification for doing the things I do. 

However, I can promise that if you have my friendship, that is what it is. You will know if I expect anything else from you or rather from us. 

Something else that intrigues me is when a person asks if they can ask me a question and have me answer honestly. Why would I answer dishonestly? If you take the time to get to know me and have the desire to understand me you will realize that I will answer honestly--and if I cannot answer for one reason or another, I will own up to it. 

Something else that has come to my attention is my apparent knack for holding a memory down to the finest details even years after it has occurred. Most have forgotten the memory but when forced to think about it, I have come to the conclusion that it is because I have the mind of a writer and performer. From a young age, I realized that any experience that comes my way is something that I can use to enrich and enliven my writing and performances with a ring of truth. I admit that some of these memories are tied to vivid emotions and feelings of the time but don't we all have experiences like that? 

Even the days you spend together with a person though you may remember the same series of events there will be moments that stand out more vividly to one person than another. On the one hand, one might have a better recall for the preperformance atmosphere whereas the other may have a keener remembrance of the actual performance. And further, there might be yet another person who has memories of the performance but focused on the reaction of the crowd rather than how well the other performers did compared to a different performance. 

Regardless. My recall for moments in my life--those that perhaps I hold dear and will always hold dear--are mine. And that is fine. You know? You never know how much something will mean to someone else, whether it be a moment or a thousand moments. But I am thankful if there is anyone out there who can look at our history together and cling to the happy and shining moments rather than dwelling and puzzling out the moments of misunderstanding. 

So. 

Here is to a new beginning. May this month be better than the last.