It is supposedly 45 degrees Fahrenheit outside today... and "feels like" 38. April in Utah. (And yes, my ears and fingers have been freezing all day, thank you for asking.)
Anyway, that is not what I am here to talk about today. No sir.
Today, I would like to talk about how it felt to be a participant in, first, the between-session choir (the one that stands out on the same sidewalk as the protesters between Temple Square and the Conference Center) and also to be in the Conference Center during the sustaining of the General Authorities that afternoon.
Firstly, although we were only half the numbers we'd been asked to produce from our Stake to take part in the choir assignment, I feel that we did make at least a difference for those who had to wait for the OK signal to cross the street between Temple Square and the Conference Center. During their wait, they were given the option (at least on my half of the sidewalk) to either listen to the man exclaiming his views on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and our beliefs or join us in the well-known hymns of the Restoration (including but not limited to the Spirit of God, We Thank Thee, Oh God, For a Prophet, and A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief).
How light and bracing it was to have the opportunity to pave the walkway and see Saints singing along with us. The beauty of their gratitude for inviting the Spirit to be with them in between sessions so as to not become contentious and argumentative with the protesters! I will admit to the backs of my knees being strained after standing resolutely for and hour and a half, but it was well worth it and I truly feel I could not have been better spiritually prepared for what would occur in just an hour from the end of our service to our fellow Saints and the Church.
I, along with other women from my ward, sat together excited to be given the opportunity to sit in that large Conference Center, packed to the brim with those who shared our same beliefs! Those who had gathered to partake of the Spirit and the pleasing words of God's servants. I thought that I would perhaps have a similar experience to the one other time I was able to attend a session in the Conference Center--it was actually the October 2009 Conference, the Sunday Afternoon session that I was given the opportunity to attend with a friend of mine. The first talk being that of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland entitled Safety for the Soul in which he bore his unwavering, bold, and heartfelt testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon and the knowledge the Joseph Smith Jr. was the first prophet of this last dispensation. How inspiring that talk was! I was moved to tears and will never forget it.
That was the experience I hoped to have once more--it didn't have to be with the same apostle, but I looked forward to it with eager anticipation.
Last Saturday's afternoon session of Conference started out as all the rest I remember ever attending in my 24 years of life. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang, a prayer was said, they sang again. President Henry B. Eyring laid out the first bit of the meeting for us which included among other announcements, the sustaining of the First Presidency and the General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf took the stand and began, asking the general assembly to acknowledge by raise of the right hand if we sustained as prophets, seers, and revelators--Presidents Thomas Spencer Monson, Henry Bennion Erying, and Dieter Friedrich Uchtdorf. I raised my hand with joy for being in the presence of these mighty men called of God to lead the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sustaining them with all the love that I have for them and the direction and love they have expressed for me and all the people of the world.
It wasn't anger that filled my heart next, but sorrow and hurt for these men, when three of the assembly, having managed to procure seats in the section that I wish to one day have the blessing of sitting it, being at almost the feet of the prophets, stood when President Uchtdorf asked that if any be opposed, to offer the same sign. Upon standing, with their hands raised, they shouted the word I have never been witness to in this semi-annual Conference: "Opposed!"
Opposed? I didn't spend much time looking for the three people (I was to be informed later of where they stood and what they looked like) for my gaze was drawn back to President Uchtdorf as he said that their vote had been noted. My heart stilled, painfully waiting for him to continue the sustainings, knowing that the names of the Twelve Apostles would be next. At the end of the reading, I raised my hand once more to sustain and I felt a determination in that moment of raising my hand, a motion that I was taught at a young age would allow my voice to be heard in the Church, that I have never hitherto felt. With all the energy of my soul, I wished that those men could feel MY support and love for them--I knew they could see everyone else raise their hands, but could they see me? Could they feel me?
Opposed! The men and woman shouted again, less together this time but no less fierce and hurtful.
I don't know if I will understand the reasoning and drive behind the opposition of these three people...
But this I do know. I know of my love for the General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I sustain as the prophet of my Lord's church, President Thomas S. Monson. I know the Book of Mormon to be another testament of Jesus Christ and that Joseph Smith Jr. was hand chosen by Him to be the translator of the book--regardless of the fact that he was but a child at the time of the call (a young boy of 14 who had the determination and desire to ask which church of all the churches were true) and less educated than all the pastors and preachers at the time demanded a leader of any church be.
I am so blessed to have been born to parents who, though weren't always members, sure and strong, of the Church, they committed and grew testimonies so that they could raise and teach their children in righteousness and give them the best chance they could in this world of sin, corruption, and sorrow. I am not perfect but am striving. I am not sure of everything but I am sure of my Savior's love for me. And that He has called the General Authorities as currently constituted to guide and direct the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and will allow no man to lead His sheep astray.
I love Him and am thankful of His awareness of my life and the sorrows I have seen, the trials I have overcome, and the advances I have made toward being the woman He meant for me to become.
And these things I write, in His name.
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