I just watched Frozen for the first time in forever (and no, I'm not letting go), and as I was thinking (because what woman stops thinking to watch a movie?) I discovered that I was having conflicting feelings towards the character of Hans (spoiler alert, he's the jerk villain at the end). I mean, sure, there is that fan theory wherein people have wondered if Hans' sudden change in feelings toward Anna was the trolls' doing, but if we're being honest, he was the villain without the trolls help.
However, the interesting thing with Hans' villainhood is the fact that he was so good at acting as though he truly loved Anna (the whole "love at first sight" strain of fantasy) and the thing that gave me pause during this particular viewing was that maybe Hans really did love Anna but he loved the power marrying her could bring him more.
Now, once everything is said and done and the movie wraps with all that sisterly love, it is obvious that Hans was preying on Anna's desperation to feel loved. I know I'm not the only woman (or person in general, for that matter) who gasped when Hans revealed himself to the dying Anna and thought, "How dare he!?" But in real life, aren't there people who do "dare" to do the exact same thing to others? (Though, I don't believe an actual kingdom is on the table.)
This brought to mind this thought: is he (or she) a Hans? Or a Kristoff?
With Hans people, you are never certain whether the person you see today is really them or not. They know how to act, they know how to prod your thoughts and emotions in a direction that makes you think that you would rather die than live without them! But at the end of the day, why do they do it? Well, friends, I believe Hans people are those that love the idea of you. But at the end of the day, when they are called upon to be owners of the actual feeling that should spur the two of you together, there is something else they love more--in the case of a last-in-line-for-the-crown prince it's power. In Hans people, might I move to say that it is their love of their own independence? Not having to "answer" to anyone. Perhaps they desire their solitude and their ability to say, "You know? Not today."
With Kristoff people, those are the ones that you may not have an instant connection with (though, admittedly, I think it's fine to be attracted to the person within the first day of knowing them--not that I would marry in a day) but at the end of the day, they are in love with YOU. Not the idea. Not some crazy fantasy they have concocted, but you. Crazy, imperfect, sometimes "unlovable" you. They don't complete you but rather encourage you to be a better person. They allow you to make your mistakes, catching you if you fall.
If he seems "perfect", wait. Give it time. If you give your "courtship" enough time, then you will root out the true Hans'. Don't get ahead of yourself. You have the rest of your life to be with your Kristoff but you need to make sure he is who you think he is before you get serious with them. They will have flaws just like you do. We don't marry perfection but potential, says Elder Robert D. Hales of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
From personal experience, I have had too many Hans' in my life where when it came down to brass tacks, I found their hearts lied truly with something that I could never give them, whether I wanted to or not. And that realization, my friends, is what makes all the difference because it helps the healing process because, let's face it, for every Hans there isn't a Kristoff and often times you will not meet them at the same time. So let the relief sink in that you have dodged another Hans, grieve for a day if you feel you must, then (ready for it?) let it go.
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