In the past year I have had my share of heart ache (whether it was fair or not is not really the point). I continued living and believed I had moved on. But just a few minutes ago I was on (surprise) pinterest and reading quotes, relatable and inspirational. As I was reading, a lot of quotes that had to do with missing someone started popping up. Not the, "I miss my grandmother because she passed away," type but, "I am so sad we broke up and even more so because we are never ever getting back together."
Now back up a couple of weeks. I was in the Deseret Book store and while perusing the clearance books, I stumbled upon one called Don't Throw Rocks at His Window: Real Advice to Mend a Broken Heart by Julie C. Donaldson. The title made me laugh and so I picked up the book and read the back. My laughter turned to thoughtful silence as I read the summary and suddenly I found that I was not about to put that book back on the shelf until I had read it.
Upon reading it, I will admit, there were quite the handful of relationship related stories that had me laughing in a mixture of disbelief that they had actually happened and pure entertainment (which in hindsight is a little mean considering some of these people were quite brokenhearted at the time).
By the end of the book, I had picked up on something: getting over heartbreak is half making the decision to get over the person who broke your heart and half following through with that decision by getting to know yourself better, the people around you and even developing new hobbies to help build up a bit of that self-confidence that got blasted away when the words were said: we need to break up.
And thereafter, I started my real healing. I finally really did let go and decide, "You know what, self? I think it is just about time to move on!" The power of positive thinking is quite astounding really...
Anyway back to the point at the top (trust me, it is most definitely all related) another point the book brought up was how when we first break up with someone (if we do not get a hold of ourselves and fast) we start the unhealthy trend of listening to the usual break up songs. And then... there are the quotes.
"Sometimes, I miss you so much my heart breaks a little."
"When I text you it means I miss you. When I don't text you it means I'm waiting for you to miss me."
And the like. Now. Some might look at the first and think, "But perhaps that is related to a loved one who has passed on." Yes. I can see your point. However, when the picture in the background is of two teenagers embracing...? Yeah. No. And the texts? Okay. I will admit that at first glance (meaning the first time I saw it) I was totally agreeing with it. "It speaks to me!" I probably thought and I don't doubt that I pinned it on one of my boards (which by the way will be going through a quick perusal by me after I am done here) but you know what? We shouldn't be waiting around for a guy to text us! There are times when I miss someone but I don't turn around and text them immediately. Who knows? Maybe the man (note, MAN not boy) of your dreams is missing you like crazy but wants to wait until he can tell you to your face how much he missed you? Or maybe call?
But for heaven's sake. Do not wait. You are much more interesting if you are moving and making a life for yourself. Do not plan around something that might never happen!
Moving on...
Whilst we pine away after the boys that are never coming back to retrieve us, how many opportunities are we missing? If the guy has given you up, there is no reason he deserves your putting your life on hold and throwing your own personal pity parties. (Honestly, if he were to come back to you and you were the same person he had broken up with, why would you assume the results would be different? Just a side thought...)
So. Here I stand. I will glance back from time to time to reminisce as we as humans are apt to do but I will not desire to be back in that time. I will not be as Lot's wife--looking back and yearning to return to stay. No more dwelling and drudging up the past that can never be again. No more saying, "I am over him!" whilst I continue to think of how terribly I miss him.
No sir. Or ma'am. Whatever the case may be.
When people walk away from you,
let them go.
Your destiny is never tied to anyone
who leaves you.
And it doesn't mean that they are bad people.
It just means that their part in your story
is over.
Move along like I know you do.
And here I am. I have realized that I had never truly moved on. But you know what? I am changing that. Right now. It is a bright new day and I will move forward in faith. One final thought:
God is in the details. You may have planned out something you think is spectacular but He has written for you a story better than any Hollywood plot. And I believe that.
No comments:
Post a Comment